Trust, Surrender, Oceans and Mountains of Laundry

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him.”-Proverbs 3:5-6

Last night, Jon and I talked about surrender, trust, and the challenging moments we have endured over the years. Thank God for his ocean of mercy.

We shared where we saw God was clearly with us in many moments, especially when we committed to trusting His plan and will. He is always there. We just need to ask him to Come in.

We spoke of times when we thought we prayed through decisions and committed to trusting him, but maybe we didn’t trust His way enough to see things through.

We pondered, without regret, if and how the outcomes could have been different.

I told Jon I hoped someday, when I face my Maker, He’ll reveal the moments I took one path over another and how it would have worked out if I chose differently.

It won’t matter much at that point, anyway. But We did our best to pray, discern, decide, and trust.

Either way, I believe God was with us each and every step of the way. His grace and mercy got us through. His Divine Mercy never ends.

Our desire is always to align our choice with His. We trust His Will is better for us.

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me.”-Hillsong UNITED

I see His presence more clearly guiding me when I am too blind to see my way through the rough waters or the dark nights or when I simply can’t find a way on my own.

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters.”-Hillsong United

In the middle of our conversation on trust without borders, my phone rang with a call that changed the weight of our somber, stormy day.

It altered the tone of our grey week to provide a sense of hope. That conversation also weighed in on trust—with those who drive the ship for Jon’s care and those who care for his/our well-being.

They are trying to make a way to keep this fight going.

It’s been a rough week riding the wave and weathering the storm since our last MRI and confirming/learning of tumor progression even after Jon’s treatment—more radiation in the fall.

As one can imagine, we face an ocean of emotions and heartbreaking truths.

We know God doesn’t promise only gloriously sunny days. He keeps reminding us that He IS there in the storms as he reaches down to grab our hand while we sink into stormy seas.

May we not take our eyes off Him.

While yesterday was a grey day inside and out, the weather was still fair. The temperature was right-just enough to offer a glimmer of warm hope.

It allowed us to step outside to inhale fresh air and gain a new perspective. There may have even been a PT session outdoors—a huge win in our books. There have been many wins among many struggles this last week. It’s a challenging fight.

God is in control of our story. He is in control of every detail and every sunny or grey day and every we navigate.

This week was a wild ride in ways I can’t explain. It may take a chapter in a book to share all the highs, lows, and hilarious stories. The chapter would be called Come In. There is definitely a story in this. Someday, you will hear more about being invited in`. If you already know, you know it’s a story worth hearing.

We need to surrender it all to God.

I am here for it.

There are hard things to endure and painful realities and joyous moments that take our breath away.

It’s hard and holy work to dig deep within to rise each day, decide where to concentrate our limited energy, trust, and hope, and find joy and laughter this season.

There is always a story with a crazy series of events. This time it’s about a new washer to replace our mold-infested one. Just say no to front loaders. I will never own one again.

The new one didn’t make it on the truck, and the dryer came damaged.

I refused the damaged dryer.

And I refused to be consumed with fear and anxiety over things I can not control.

Frustrating, though, when not all things go as planned.

We really need God to move some mountains for us right now for many things.

We trust there is a reason for all of it.

After that appliance delivery fiasco, the old appliances were back in place. We still have mountains of laundry.

We returned from running errands to find water all over the laundry room floor. It wasn’t an ocean, but it was indeed enough to make me cry an ocean of tears.

The dryer was leaking water. Please make it make sense. Par for the course.

I cried, then laughed because I still see where God is moving.

He’s clearing a path through the mounds of dirty laundry.

I see how He is using this moment to reveal big things.

This leak forced me to discover/handle something more significant that needed addressing/fixing.

We’ve been ignoring it for far too long.

Timing.

Providence.

Surrender.

Trust.

I tried to control all these moving parts of this tricky situation in a way that worked best for me.

It wasn’t working.

I changed course.

It was becoming far too complicated.

Enough is Enough.

Okay, God, “I surrender, I give up, you handle it all. You make this work for us.”

Today I open my eyes to see blue skies and warm rays of sun peeking through the blinds.

The promise of a new day.

The hope for another tomorrow.

Then I find a surprising message that help is on its way today.

Repair and healing are finding their way in so many unexpected ways.

I couldn’t order these parts (of our story) if I tried.

I tried.

It didn’t work my way. God is way better at ordering time and our story. That includes your story too.

He makes a way—removes obstacles and mountains—even mountains of laundry. He parts the sea, walks on water, and guides us to do the same. We just need to Trust in Him.

He reveals what needs fixing and healing to alleviate a more significant heartache in the future.

He is undoubtedly writing a story of redemption through our suffering and teaching us to trust.

I see it in our conversation about trusting God (and others) and how trust continues to open the door to more hope—Come on In.

I see it in our call with our doc, who cares deeply for Jon and our family and the promise of a new day. We are discovering there may be a way; it’s where trust and hope converge.

Maybe you remember I ended my last blog post with “this isn’t over yet.” Please pray for this glimmer of hope.

God continues reminding Jon and me that we need to trust Him. This is all for Him, All Glory to Him.

He is the Way, The Truth, and The Life.

So once again, we unapologetically Surrender it all to Him. He knows what’s best for us.

After all, He is the WayMaker, the Time Keeper, the Healer, and the Author of our story.

Jesus, we trust in You.

Lord, May we trust and surrender it all to Him.

“The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is — trust. The more a soul trusts, the more it will receive.” — Diary, 1578

I will leave you with my new favorite bracelet, Divine Mercy, reminding me to Trust. And our cute handmade St.Valentine’s and Heart Earrings all designed and made by my creative gal, Olivia. I invite you to support her creative work.